Mid-life crisis

I think I have hit a down low...
I'm so constantly paranoid over (non existant / bad) things which are gonna happen to me...

I have hurt my loved one unwittingly...
And I can't retrace my steps...

I wish I had been not been building wispy fantansies and beautiful castles in the air all this while..
Nobody changes, not even luv...
(WTH)

Has it been time for me to wake up? Time for me to stop running from Reality?
It has always been here, clutching me but I chose not to see it..
Reality's hideous face makes me weep in the dark silent nights.
Oh, I hate its suffocating clutches too!

I am such a coward..
Unable to face up to the enemy....

Perspective

I have changed....
I start to run away from reality...
I refuse to see the facts infront of me and
I'm having illusions that all is merely a dream...

How exhausted from all the running
Weary from the constant fake smiles
I can't act happy infront of you anymore
And I think I'm going crazy with all the nitpicking...

Problems unsolved yet I'm on the lookout of trouble now...