Repeat after me...

2009 is coming an end yah?

In another month's time, it would be X'mas followed by New Year!
That's fast! (And I realised I had been sleeping underneath a rock again this time)
Wheeeeeet!


So I'm counting down to a merry season, good food and good wine (bless my tummy!) and presents! (ahhhh, my fingers had been dutifully crossed since last week hahah)

So what do you want?
And what (material things) do I want?
Hmmmmmmm


2009 X'mas List

1. A Chanel 2.55 (booooo so impratical and impossible)


2. Omega Constellation (I never give up yah?!)


3. Digi-cam (what model is good...?)


4. White X'mas


5. Sony Vaio

Wow.. so greedy of me to wish for all this stuff.. heheheh

Shoot the Net

Geeeeez I'm having problems uploading pic here..
Made me kinda irriated and thus I'm not gonna upload anymore
Boo whooooo
Hahahaha... (I will just post in my Facebook so for those who really know me and can get to view the pics, lucky b*****ds :P)

Just read a comment from a crazy buddy and realised my BKK trip is minute compared to her enormous great fun in Rome lor....
*SUPER ENVY*

You know, holidays are great, travelling is fun but what bug me most is airplane manners (or some decent behaviour on board an airplane OR whatever you called it)
Okies I took a budget carrier so what?
It was a big big mistake!

My return flight was 20:00hrs, BKk time. A 2 hour flight home and I was struck with a snoring man in my front row and a pair of screeching witches behind me.
Well that's what I believe they were then. (for those who are really curious about the exact details of my return flight, I was in Tiger Airways TR 109, 17E.)

I couldn't possibly tap the guy in front and ask him to shut up.
What if he was having some exotic dream of the air hostess decked in some tiger prints cloaks (wahhhhh he might be Ris Low's relative, having a thing for animal prints) and I woke him up at the wrong time?!
And I checked him over. He looked as if he was pumping iron every now and then so I wouldn't want to risk picking a fight in midair.
So I can only concentrate on cursing him silently in my heart, wishing that the air hostess had run out of tiger print cloaks and he had to settle for zebra prints. Muahahaha

Then then, I had to focus my energy on the pair of witches behind me. Nope I can't comment on their looks, they ain't really hideous nor ugly BUT they kept chattering non stop and bursting out in high pitched laughter just like witches (I know I'm mean so shoot me)
Helllo, the duration of the flight was like 21:00 hrs to 23:00hrs (Singapore time) and we were on board, some thousand miles so high in the sky that I can't even make up whether I'm in heavens or hell (coz of those 2 ladies)
Lights had been turned out subtly (bless the carrier) so that WE, the passengers can get some rest).
The whole aircraft was rather quiet if not for those witches and of all places, why were they behind me?! And of all days, why did I get a migraine the moment I board the plane?!
THUS I needed a rest instead of hearing some crackling laughter and screeching. @#%^^%W@*

And Law was not even affected by any of the disturbances. Sometimes I wonder if he is deaf to noises around him. Oh wait, I think he is deaf coz he can't hear that I NEED a CHANEL bag, AND a 0.5ct ring AND a WEDDING soon despite my hinting every few days or so. Shucks! (anyway......)

Okies so I try to be nice and ignored the witches behind me. By the way, did they miss celebrating Halloween thus they had to behave as that enroute back to Singapore?
Pity them coz if they had really dress up in costumes and carried some broomsticks, I might consider throwing my smuggled chewing gum all over them and screaming, "TREATS FOR YOU NOW SHUT UP!"
(My oh my, Law commented my temper is getting from bad to worse, I should enrol for anger management courses yah : X)

Anway I survived the flight. Yeah, 2 full hours. And I sweared I really feel like standing up and screaming at the witches the moment they walked past me BUT what's the point?!
I had endured them for sooo long, just let it go..... *gracious me*

Then again, something bugged me so much that I really forgot to stand up to glare at two witches (lucky I didn't or else I might really turned into stone)
When the plane was flying over some land which I assumed and was very sure it's Malaysia (helllo we were nearing Singapore at that point), one of the witches commented that Singapore is surrounded by the ocean.
Huhhhhhhhh?!

Oh I feeel so stooopid asking you guys but are we surrounded by ocean?
And I thought we are surrounded by the sea?
How many oceans are there anyway?! (5, I just googled)
So what are we surrounded by?
On the atlas, there's this Indian Ocean around us but I can't believe we are surrounded by the ocean.
Had I slept too much thru my Geography classes in the past?
(BUT BUT I'm very sure we are being surrounded by some sea instead of some ocean)
However if the ladies are witches, wouldn't they have flown on some tattered brooms over the seas, oceans and whatever mass pools of water millions of times to know the difference?!
Then again, if they can fly on broomsticks, what the hell are they doing in budget carrier, disturbing my rest?!
(Broomsticks on strike or still out partying post-Halloween?)
*hahahaha*

So is it the sea or the ocean?!
Arghhhhhhhhhh

I luv BKK!

Ahhhhh I'm back from my little Bangkok trip!
Absolute pure fun over that side, plus I believe I gained an extra 10 pounds when I come back.
(GOSH!! WHAT HAD I BEEN EATING?! : x)
When I wrote that I had fun, it means I had shopped til I dropped!
Wheeeeeee...

My loot wasn't alot but it's enuff for me (for the time being)...
There's flip-flops (my very first purchase in BKK and at Suan Lum Night Market) capris (cheap cheap from the infamous JJ market!), a oversized faux reptile skin clutch (also from JJ market), Wacoal brassiere (okies, they are cheap everywhere in BKK), Levis jeans (they were slighter cheaper over there), an OL shift dress (JJ market again, duh!) and 2 pairs of vintage styled earrings (by the road outside JJ market), Boots' No 7 blusher, some Toni & Guy hair serum and Naraya pouches!
Who would leave BKK without Naraya products?!

Law's loot consist of flip-flops (we made the purchase together), cute slogan tees and berms (at JJ too), a paisley shirt (Zen @ Central World) and Levis jeans too.
There was this Chanel inspired necklace, all pearls and camelia flowers which I saw in JJ market. Was so tempted to buy, however after doing my sums, that necklace would cost me a freaking 40 over bucks here. I would never spend that much on a necklace.. No no.......
But I did feel a pang of regret for not getting it whilst on the way back to the hotel, sullen and quiet on my tuk tuk trip. And Law was still in the dark over my mood, he had assumed I was too tired to talk.
However the regret pangs was quickly replaced by a bowl of beef noodles and a papaya salad which we had at the Big C complex. And a massage after the dinner made me forgot about the necklace totally. Hahahahaha

Am too lazy to take pic of the loot but had taken pic of the food that we ate in BKK.
Will post them soon...

Breakfast at Tiffany's

I have cravings for pink juicy steaks today. And it was grilled dory fillets yesterday.
Nevertheless I did not get to eat either...*sighz*
Such gluttony should not be forgiven thus Heaven only bestowed me with plain rice and herbal chicken soup. Honest wholesome goodness...
And I miss Law... (He's away in Pakistan)
He's my baby, my buddy, my auntie agony blah blah not to mention my favourite dining companion. We used to stake out dining places that are highly recommended online but I guess we stopped.
Due to reasons unknown of, it kinda just stopped. Perhaps it was my inertia or perhaps I got fed up of researching of places to go, to dine, to date....
Law claimed he's Mr Ok, everything is fine to him, absolute no objections to where we wanna dine, play or date but I tire of being the overly zealous party in our relationship and thus I'm taking a more relaxed approach to our relationship ie stopped making all the decisions in where and what we wanna do...

Okies I'm off track now. I still have a craving for juicy steak. *glutton*

I wonder how much would it cost to visit the States? Hmmmmmm.....
Bro is thinking of organizing a family trip to US. All I need to is pay for my own air-fare.
Really? Sounds like a good deal!
F21, VS, Tiffany, Kate Spade, OPI, Juicy Couture were the first few things that jumped to my mind when he said that. Then he concluded that personal shopping expenses are not on his credit. Cheyz! And I thought I could shop til I drop! Geez...
US might be a little over my budget coz I really need to save up for my flat in 2 years time...
Then again, it seems like a perfect temptation I could not resist...

Oh well I got to discuss with Law again to see if he is keen. Gotta stop now.
My life is boring, nothing to blog about in reality.
Stay tune then!

I need a life!

Oh yeah, I do.
Desperately...
I don't do much nowadays and shoot! I forgot to take pics of Law's eventful shopping trip (from my previous post)
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Let me see, what had I been up to?
Mafia Wars on Fb, Cafe World on FB, Mafia Wars, Twitter, Mafia Wars, karoke/drinking sessions with my pals, Mafia Wars........
Oh, my life sucks! ( I can hear the whiny princess now!)

I wish for a magic carpet that can take me all around the world.
I wish for a genie in a lamp that can fulfil all my wishes in order for me to travel around the world (plus a few 2.55s, ermmm since I'm on a daydreaming high, might as well make it hundreds of 2.55s :P)

I wish for Cinderalla to help me with all the housework BUT I'm no evil step-sister.. I will ask her to come with me to the ball and lend her a chic gown. But I do want her crystal clear heels... *gracious me eh*

I wish to be Ariel, swimming in the sea all day and making friends with the fishes, dolphins and whales (And I love a mean crab bee-hoon lor, with lotsa roe *slurp*)
And no, I wouldn't wanna trade to be foam on the sea waves but somebody like Gisele B. whose legs go on forever and ever. And who cares about the prince that can't swim?!

*idle daydreaming*
*AGAIN*

I do need a life eh?!

Heaven is a place in my heart..

Fall is official here! I luv fall. I luv how the cooler temperature makes me mellow.
I luv staying in, reading magazines or reading random blogs.
I luv how fall prepares herself for winter...
Okies so Singapore does not have winter nor even fall but still fall is my favourite season...

I'm excited today.
I'm going on a date with Law! Well, if one can consider a shopping trip is a date yah...
At least we are extending beyond the neighbourhood and going to town!
*hmmmm*
You see, the past few hundred times or so, our dates are merely trips to nearby supermarket...

"I need to buy kiwi"
"I ran out of milk, let's go NTUC"
"Let's have dinner at central and we can shop at NTUC" blah blah...

There should be life (and dates) out of grocery shopping right?!
And we are not going to shop for groceries today! *smilez*
Law's buddy is getting married next week and we are trying to find a decent shirt for Law.
What does one wear to a garden wedding?!
Law has some visions of floral prints whereas I'm thinking of all green.
He finds it plain and I don't like some gaudy hibiscus thingy.
*bleah*
The only consolation is we are going to shop... hehehe
Will update when I get back! ; P

Wanderings

I really have not been in the mood to blog eh?
It's no surprise, with Facebook and Twitter and not to mention work (did I emphasize stressful work?!) taking up much of my time, I'm too drained to update what is going on in my life.
One might say these sounds suspiciously like excuses to explain my inertia but who cares?!
By the time I really get the entry down, it's already old news and who bothers about old news anyway?!
*bleah*

If I have a bipolar disorder, and I documented it down, would you accuse me of being crazy?
If I have some whims and whines and the whole blog stinks of that, would you not complain that I'm overbearing?
If my loved ones din't bother to read my blog, why would you either?
Greeeeze

Life seems so bleak at times and the crayons inside the box won't work anymore...

Unspoken...

I'm With You

I'm standin' on the bridge
I'm waitin' in the darkI
thought that you'd be here by now
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there's no sound
Isn't anyone tryin' to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?
It's a damn cold night
I'm tryin' to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand?
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I'm, I'm with you
I'm with you
Hmm hmm hmm
I'm looking for a place
I'm searching for a face
Is anybody here I know?'
Cause nothing's going right
And everything's a mess
And no one likes to be alone
Isn't anyone tryin' to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?
It's a damn cold night
I try to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand?
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I'm, I'm with you
I'm with you, yea yeah
Oh, why is everything so confusing?
Maybe I'm just out of my mind
Yea eee yeah, yea eee yeah
Yea yee yea, yea eee yeah,yeah
It's a damn cold night
Tryin' to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand?
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I'm, I'm with you, yea
I'm with you, yea
Take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I'm, I'm with you, yea
I'm with you, yea
Take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I'm, I'm with you, oh
I'm with you
I'm with you


PS. I'm soooo tired. Of everything..

Rose Chocolates

If you tell me you are stuck at work, I would have known all along.
Dinner had turned cold by the time you come home.
If you tell me you are delayed at work, I would have known all along.
The other side of bed is always empty.
Problem is, you always dun tell me the same old....

Sunshine in my life

You know, every time I revisited my blog, I get guilty pangs.
I neglect it too much and there are not enough new entries.
I owe it a gooooood explanation.
But taking a coward's way out, I chose not to visit (blog).
That is why my entries are getting fewer.

Okies I am simply too lazy to think.
With Twitter around, I simply update with 140 characters.
That is way too easy than my blog.
Then again, as I stare at my blog, I pitied it and I blame myself.
Laziness is no excuse. I should have put in more effort...

Red Rain by Peter Gabriel

Red rain is coming down
Red rain red rain is pouring down
Pouring down all over me
I am standing up at the water's edge in my dream
I cannot make a single sound as you scream
It can't be that cold, the ground is still warm to touch
This place is so quiet, sensing that storm
Red rain is coming down
Red rain red rain is pouring down
Pouring down all over me
Well I've seen them buried in a sheltered place in this town
They tell you that this rain can sting, and look down
There is no blood around see no sign of pain
Hay ay ay no pain
Seeing no red at all, see no rain
Red rain is coming down
Red rain red rain is pouring down
Pouring down all over me
Red rain- putting the pressure on much harder now to return again and again
Just let the red rain splash you
Let the rain fall on your skin
I come to you defences down
With the trust of a child
Red rain is coming down
Red rain red rain is pouring down
Pouring down all over me
And I can't watch any more
No more denial
It's so hard to lay down in all of this
Red rain is coming down
Red rain is pouring down
Red rain is coming down all over me
I see it
Red rain is coming down
Red rain is pouring down
Red rain is coming down all over me
I'm bathing in it
Red rain coming down
Red rain is coming down
Red rain is coming down all over me
I'm begging you
Red rain coming down
Red rain coming down
Red rain coming down
Red rain coming down over me in the red red sea
over me over me
Red rain

Why I love Rainy Days

10. They make everything seem cleaner.
9. Plus cooler.
8. It gives me a reason to show up work slightly late.
7. I can still push off doing the laundry to another day.
6. I can show off my black & white-checked brolly.
5. I need not turn on the air-conditioner to sleep.
4. I get free rides to work courtesy of my colleagues (well at times only, but it beats standing at the bus-stop in the rain)
3. Rainy days make me mellow.
2. I get to chuggle all the hot chocolate I wan.
1. It totally justifies my sleeping in the whole rainy day. : )

Fondue

Well, they say "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get.."

I got a surprise on Easter day!

Something black, something white..

Hohoho...

I had never expected my SO to get this for me, even though I had been coveting for anything from this label..

It seems so precious, so pretty with the striking white against black...

What is it?!

It's a camillia emblossed wallet from 08/09 Cruise Collection..

I can't count enuff lucky stars... *wide grinz*

SO has been real generous towards me and I feel really blessed..

He has been tolerant towards my princessy tempers and ever so giving in towards me..

We have been literally living from hand to mouth, trying our utmost to save for our future.

I believe he only buys clothes twice a year and shoes, once a year but he is alright with my monthly impulse sprees even though I'm supposed to be saving up for our house.

He eats at hawker centres most of the time but will readily foot the bill whenever I craves for Sushi Tei sashimi (which is like 3x a month)

It amazes me that SO bear to buy a Chanel (wallet) for me...

He's the best...

*in bliss*

Marshmallow puffs

My favourites..

Websites
Asos
Channelnewsasia
Dictionary (my life-saver)
How Stuff Works
Blogger


Music
Lounge
Depeche Mode
Jazz
U2
Top 40s


Junk Food
Marshmallow
Potato chips
Jelly beans
Chocolates
Doughnuts


Comfort food
Mushroom soup
Congee
Kimchi soup
Soup dumplings
Soba


Books
Divine Comedy
The Little Prince
Man & Boy
The Da Vinci Code
Reader's Digest (okies I cheat, tis a magazine)


TV
CSI
CSI Miami
Mythbusters
Man vs Wild
Ghost Whisperer

To-Do List

My To-Do list at the present moment (and for the next two years)


1. Get a life!
2. Blog
3. What is Twitter?!
4. Breathe
5. Wear a bikini again (hello spare tyre, can you go away?!)
6. Learn to cook
7. Learn to iron clothes
8. Learn to save money ($$$$$)
9. Use that money to buy a Chanel 2.55 (yeah rite!!)
10. Use that money for my flat (*bleah*)
11. Learn to take all things with a pinch of salt
12. Must have/cultivate determination to study for my degree
13. Get more beauty sleep
14. Learn tennis
15. Or golf (hmmmm)
16. Be more focus in my career
17. Stop eating junk food
18. Recognise that having material things around me will not bring me happiness compared to having my loved ones by my side
19. Stop throwing princessy tantrums
20. Love myself.

Was at the AYG's launch of the official Mascot and song yesterday. My company is one of the official partners working along with the organizers thus I have the privilege of attending the ceremony. Felt really proud that Singapore has a chance to host such an event and me, am gonna be a part of it too. With coverage of AVG, I believe there's a long way to go for me and my company *winkz*

Cold

How long can I go on

taking in those sharp mindless comments that sliced through my heart?

How long can I go on

listening to empty heartless words that play with my emotions?

How long can I go on

withstanding the cold?



Feels as if I'm always the one that is standing outside the door.

In the cold.

I'm always the last one you would ever think of.

I might not be even the one you had thought of.

It's cold, has always been...



Your heart is so small, there's no more room for me.

You do not see nor hear me.

I'm invisible, out in the cold.

There's always someone else before me, above me...

I do not exist.

But I'm just outside, standing in the cold.



I feel so tired...

It has been going on for so long yet I still feel the cold.

I can't understand why do you always do what you did to me

You forsake me, you reject me

I can't find the way to your heart

I'm so cold out here..

Burnt Toast

Wheeeeee I'm back.... As in back to my blogspot I mean...
And I'm back from my holidays tooo....
Ain't went nothing far but me and my SO decided to have a break at somewhere quiet *sighz*
Singapore is way too busy for us, man...
We spent our little holiday at Bintan Agro Beach Resort.

I absolutely like it there coz it is not too commercialized ie I won't be waken by screaming kids early in the morning or having to fight with millions of others for space at the pool.
Not that I can swim but it does feel good when it seems like the whole swimming pool is for me and my SO only and that's what we got for our holiday.

Okies maybe we were there early part of the week thus the whole resort seemed like a ghost town. Yet my friend whom recommended me this place, had been there on a weekend and it feels juzt as deserted. *good*



~SO Being devoured by mysterious teddy bears~


Day 1 - We tried one of their spa package for couples and it was really good.

First the lady asked us to strip and soak in the jacazzi.

"15 minutes and I come back" (they can't really speak good English)

My SO must be a bit slow coz he was like, "where is the undies? Am I gonna be naked when she's back?!"

I couldn't help but laughed at him and merely enjoyed my soak in the tub.

When the lady came back, there was another (lady). They proceeded to scrub our bodies and we gotta rinse the coffee smelling scrub off. Then came the massage, that was sooo good it put us both to sleep.. *blush*

Next was the body mask, another coffee smelling thingy and we were wrapped up in some plastic sheet. Last was the herbal bath which kinda made us uneasy. Why? Coz the water was kinda hot, too hot for the smothering heat outside and we were perspiring and dying to put an end to the whole session.




~ Spa room layout ~ (pardon my pic taking skills)

In the evening, we chose to take a ride out to the main town of Tanjung Pinang. The itinerary stated that we would be taken to a 2 popular spots; a shopping center and a outdoor eating place.

We were aghast upon reaching the shopping center, for it looked exactly like the Sheng-siong main outlet in Serangoon. I was really expecting to see clothes or some local products which I can bring back home but Bintan 21 was really more like a mini-mart. Period.

Me and my SO decided to satisfy our hunger pangs and we went to this Sam & Anne (I think that's the name coz I couldn't bother to spend too much time reading a neon signboard) restaraunt. It's more than a Asian version of Wendys, I guess. You get fried chicken with white rice, a handful of fries and coleslaw that look so pitiful, I wonder why they were there on the plate in the first place. Couldn't care more, we were hungry and we devoured our meal with relish. Ain't good but it filled us up. Proceeded on the journey to the eating place jus to have a look to satisfy our curiosity. Amother bad move coz the place was nothing more than a few stalls in a dark dingy place that's facing the sea. I had seen more life when we were travelling to town. Me and SO took a 5minute walk to and fro the place and decided to get out of there. We requested to go back to the resort which was another 45min ride. By the time we get back, Minority Report was already half way into the show. Nevertheless, that was entertainment for our first night there.


The 2nd moring I woke up bright and eager. SO had said we shall wake up early for the sunrise. Alas he always forget the fact that even if the sky falls down, he would still be sleeping. Meaning I woke up early but failing to get him out of the bed, I went back to sleep too, missing the sunrise. When we did finally got up, we were the last persons in the breakfast queue. (to be frank, there was no queue, we were the only ones there eating brekkie)

After brekkie, we had the option of foot massage or island tour. Chose the island tour coz the sun was good. Island tour means they would bring you to a small isl opposite the resort. You would be left alone on the isl and the boatmen would come back for you in an hour or two. (pending on your options) We took a two hour option coz I wanna a tan and an hour doesn't seem enough.

How wrong I was! Now I'm burnt like a toast and it was sooo tedious having to bathe and slather cream to smooth myself down. SO ain't doing that good either. He seems to be in pain more-so than me but served him right for not applying suntan lotion.

We had dinner in one of the restarants in the resort. The whole meal came up to S$27. There was fish in lemon sauce, squid rings in chilli sauce, chicken soup, kangkong and 10 sticks of chicken breast satay. (SO didn't like chicken breast and so I finished the bulk of them *burp*)

Overall it wasn't too bad, better than what we had before in Sam & Something restarant. Then the wait staff cleared our table and brought out some side plates.




~ Sun & Moon Restaraunt~


"Did we order dessert?" I asked wide-eyed at SO.

He smiled and said nothing. Then there was a birthday cake!

Pretty smashed up... I believed the resort staff had got it in a hurry and thus had caused the cake to be smashed against the box. But it was a sweet gesture from SO and there was a pretty red rose from him too.

*awwwwwwwwww*


Too bad the wind blew out my candle before SO could finish singing the birthday song. Nevertheless I made a wish. *winkz*

We couldn't finish the cake and the balance was for all the wait staff in the restarant.




~ my cake~ ~pretty smashed up~

Third morning, SO was rather sad to return to Singapore. Me too. I like the quietness of the place and time really seem to pass us by slowly (but not slow enuff!) The place was like a paradise, so hidden from the world. Me and SO talked of going back there again and I definitely hope it will be soon. *wide grinz*


~Low Tide at the Beach~ ~ Evening sunset view from the restaraunt~




~ Ocean pictures relaxes me~ :p

Repeats..

I had not been weaving my creative skills for such a long time that sometimes I wonder, can I still write?
Or even form a decent sentence in my crumpled mind?!
Had been so lazy to write that I totally deserted my blog.
Ain't really a good choice because it's so empty now...

Found an old piece of writing of mine...
Was really surprised that I sound cynical..
*sigh* (But I always had been that way...)

Through the Looking Glass
I caught the look in your eyes
A look of fear and despair
You don't believe in this world
You had been let down too many times
Hurt deeply...
By friends? By loved ones?
Or was it the harsh reality that crushed your fragile self?!
You are wounded, struggling to stand tall and proud
You didn't want to give up..
Your dreams seem to dissolve in those dark pools of black in your eyes
Dreams that are so distant, so unreal
Yet you hold on to them because they belong solely to you
You wouldn't say anything
You didn't avoid my eyes
You juz stared
Lost and vague but unwillingly to admit defeat
Why put on such a mask?
Why be cynical?
There's a trace of silvery tear trail down your cheeks
Were you crying?
Do you always cry alone in the nights?
The dancing sparkle in your eyes had long lost
Your smiles were juz like play doh
Is it a torture for you to be on this world?
Your desolution is so thick that I couldn't reach out to you
I wish to cry for you, hold you in my arms
You didn't even trust me
You couldn't even trust yourself..
Your doubts drove everyone far...
You yearn for love and acceptance
But you don't believe in them
You cried for independance and freedom
But you can't stand alone...
What do you want from this world?
Eyes seeing but exactly what are you looking for?
I think we had drifted apart..
I don't understand you at all
Your vulnerability is despicable yet sorrowful...
Your stubborness is stupid yet brave...
Do not turn me away...Do not reject me...
I came to you but you spoke nothingness...
I touched you, only to touch cold glass...
I blinked and I realised you did too...
I smiled and you had that fakey struggling smile too..
I was looking at you and you looked back....


I was looking at myself in the mirror.....

Purple Heart

My boyfriend has forgotten we are supposed to celebrate our 1st year anniversary tonight.
I can't believe it..
How do you define "disappointment"?
Does it come with tinges of blues and a faint piercing pain?
I don't know...
All I know is he has totally forgot about our plans...

After a long day of impatiently waiting for the work day to end, I relished the thought of celebrations..
He called whilst I was en route to the dinner venue.
He had to work late and I thought he was pulling my leg, and deep within me I was thinking, "he's gonna give me a surprise later by turning up unannounced"
But no.. he had forgotten the reason why we are dining out..
And was nonchalent about it.

I teared..
I hate myself for having high expectations of a good quiet romantic dinner.
I hate myself for being dependent on him to make me happy.
I went all the way to the venue.

Disappointment turns into anger. Anger dissolved into sad old blues by the time I window shopped around the shopping mall.
Got a Subway Melt as dinner.
Lotsa jalenos; they burned my tongue.
A stinging numbess.
Taste of disappointment?
I guess so....

Sales!

Argggghhhh... SALES is my favourite word after LOVE, I guess..
Both makes my body tingle with excitement, the heart skipping a beat in anticipation...
Ooooh except for one thing - I'm super broke now... (spent my all on SALES everywhere recently) *sobz*

I wanna blog coz it really occurred to me earlier in the day that I'm really 30 years old.
(I still can't get over the fact huh?!) and I'm getting nowhere in my life...
That is sooo not surprising because I take everything with a pinch of salt, everyday is a surprise and I'm riding the carousel, building castles in the air. *sighz* Damnit, where and what was I doing in the past 30 years? Geez...


Anyway I chanced upon an old blog site of mine and was wondering had I ever changed throughout the two years that I started blogging? (besides the fact that I'm catching on the years) Was thinking that I used to make lists, lotsa lists in the past but not anymore now.


And so today, now I'm gonna blog a list of things about me, you all should and must know.
*evil laugh*



88 Things about Me!

1. I'm in love with BB.
2. I'm turning 30 years old in another 1.5 months or so.
3. Oh yes, I wouldn't mind if you all wanna give me 30 presents.
4. I'm still living with my parents. (yess I'm a parasite)
5. I love.
6. I love sales. (isn't it amazing? my favie words all in a sentence?!)
7. I have a very short tail so dun go stepping around.
8. I won't hestiate to bite if you step on my tail.
9. I have a low pain threshold.
10. I hate paperwork! (hear that, boss?!)
11. I'm a fan of all CSI series.
12. I love online shopping.
13. I can't understand the society today.
14. I can't understand the majority of teens, young adults who assumed they make up the whole of society.
15. But I'm guilty of possessing that "ME ME" attitude too. (at times only..)
16. I'm not sooo good with figures.
17. That includes mine. For all you wanna know, I'm fat.
18. I'm fatter than fat, okies?!
19. Back to figures, I'm really poor in mathematical sums. Whatever.
20. I love car rides.
21. I collect make-up. (too much, too many..)
22. I dun mind ice-cream for breakfast, lunch nor dinner.
23. Make that Ben & Jerrys pleassssse.
24. And put fresh fruits in the sundae too.
25. Raisins would be sweet too!
26. Okies enuff about ice-cream.
27. I can't MSN during working hours.
28. I love my family.
29. I wuold mate a ploor spielling beee,
30. I'm all for Obama. (yeah you go man!)
31. I'm a music junkie.
32. Foodie junkie too.
33. BUT I'm trying to change all that.
34. More veggies and less meat.
35. Especially red meat.
36. I used to be a compulsive smoker.
37. Now I'm a social smoker.
38. Wishing that I was a non-smoker all along. *sighz*
39. I'm attracted to cutesy brown teddy bears.
40. I wish BB is a bear sometimes too! (I bet he will kill me if he reads this)
41. I wish the world would be more of a better place every year.
42. I'm fascinated by Chanel bags now.
43. Looking forward to one soon.
44. I'm a professional daydreamer.
45. I adore black's elegance.
46. And I abhore its simplicity.
47. I hate doing the laundry.
48. The ironing.
49. The dishes...
50. In fact I hate housework.
51. But I'm trying to learn (so that I can be a better wife for the future)
52. I like cooking though.
53. Thinking of taking up baking lessons.
54. And tennis, golf lessons too.
55. Ohhh forget it.. Jus a passing thought (hmmmm)
56. I like beer.
57. Not the aftermath of too much beer though (hangover plus beer belly)
58. I'm permanently on a diet.
59. I had reduced my blogging activities to the minimum (argh lazy me!)
60. I would love to travel to Bintan for my birthday (hint!)
61. I bitch too much.
62. Whinning excessively is something I got an A++ for.
63. I wish for global peace.
64. I believe there is good in everyone.
65. I'm too naive.
66. I suck in poetry.
67. I have "table-for-one" phobia.
68. I'm a neurotic.
69. Being "gan-cheong' spidey, worrying about everything and nothing.
70. I'm subnormal (as described by my friend, N)
71. I would like to think that I'm paranormal.
72. I like Brad and Angelina is sooooo overrated.
73. And passe..
74. I like reading other blogs.
75. I think this list is long..
76. I believe there ain't much freedom of speech here.
77. I like to paint my own rainbow but I ran out of colors...
78. I trust that there are others out there..
79. That would be fun!
80. I love to make up different names for myself.
81. Is that a sign of identity crisis?!
82. I can't sing.
83. Painfully yes but I would rather spare you guys the pain.
84. I can't swim either..
85. I love cats.
86. I check my personal emails diligently on weekdays.
87. I don't have a favourite color but I do like purple more than the others.
88. I'm bored (now)

Sweet Melody

My body is a funny thing, there I was feeling fine and blogging earlier in the day.
And now I'm sick! *barf*
No kidding; it all started straight after my lunch when I threw everything up.
Stomach contents ain't pretty all over the toilet bowl. (Yesss I hear you guys throwing up now too!) I merely brushed it off as indigestion. That mee rebus was cold and oily so definitely I did not take well to it. CSI reruns on AXN was definitely more important! (compared to getting myself vexed)
However after the first CSI, I couldn't take it anymore.
My heart, thumping like mad, the head spinning and I was getting the chills.
Hello?! The temp is sooo hot outside and I'm getting the chills, ain't really a good sign.
Laid down to rest and BB came by around 4pm.
He seems to know I was sick even though we had not communicated for the day and brought some vit C tablets (+ 10 points)
Told me he gotta attend a wedding dinner and couldn't accompany me for the day (blah!!! should - 20 points hohoho)
Anyway he stayed only for awhile coz he was rushing back to prep for the dinner (how vain!)
I tried to rest after he had left but couldn't.
Was feeling sicker than ever. YUCKS!
Anyway juz wished that I had not had dinner. Food could be better consumed than end up in the toilet bowl... *tears*
Thought of cheering myself up by doing a list.
Yeah a list of all things that make me happy/please me/brings a smile to my face.
Yeah! So here is my list, not in any particular preference.


List of things that make me happy/please me/brings a smile to my face.
1. Rainy days (only at the correct time ie when I want to lie in)
2. Vaseline Cocoa butter body lotion (smells yummy!)
3. Able to see BB after a long hard day at work.
4. Able to see BB anytime of the day for that matter.
5. Freshly baked bread
6. Twelve, my teddy bear
7. Fog (not the pollution kinda, but the kinda misty romantic old-skool fog)
8. Pretty cupcakes
9. Puppies
10. Kittens
11. Shopping for shoes!
12. Mushroom soup (ahhhh this always make me happy and satisfied)
13. Sales
14. Hot Chocolate (the band as well as the drink)
15. Purple in all shades (ie from liliac to mauve)
16. Rainbows
17. Massages
18. Gummy bears
19. Roses
20. Free wi-fi
21. Foot Massages
22. Pandas (how cute!!)
23. Mango Ice
24. Calla lilies
25. CSI
26. A stroll with BB
27. Ben & Jerrys (any favour, man!)
28. Summer dresses
29. Memories of my holiday in Amalfi
30. Hanging out with the gang's wifes (data sharing okies)
31. Forever 21 online sprees
32. Pasta (ooh watch my diet!)
33. Pretty wedding gowns
34. Gingerbread man
35. BB's smell especially when he is fresh out from the shower
36. Beach strolls
37. A holiday to Banyan Tree Resorts/Club Med
38. My super soft bed
39. Soba noodles
40. Orange walls
41. Camellias
42. Online shopping
43. Stars (of the cosmic kinda, not the Calecott Hill nor Hollywood type)
44. Dinner with my loved ones
45. Shocking pink
46. Pampering BB (which is seldom but I wish to do more for him)
47. Taking pictures
48. Lounge music
49. Visions of my future with BB (okies super mushy, this one!)
50. Not having to work on a Monday (hahha)

2009

Happy new year!!!
Wow, it's like 4 days after the all the fireworks, after all the champagne had gone THEN I'm blogging here..
Kinda slow har?!
Well... there's nothing to update about except I'm still alive..
(I guess you guys already knew and were cursing under your breath now)
And I'm gonna be officially 30 years old in 2months' time!
Woahh 30 is a scary number, man..
It's like I'm struck in between the youth and middle-aged category..
Let me see how many female friends do I have are in that category?
There's F, M, J and L....
Gosh!!! Less than 5!!!
I'm soooo gonnna faint! (no wonder I keep hearing voices saying "welcome to the club" in my head)

On the other hand, being 30 ain't sooo bad.
Except I can't think of any of the advantages now. *bleah*
Well I do hope I am wise enuff (applies to all aspects in my life), I hope there is more freedom when I'm not viewed as a kid anymore.
Life goes on eh?! It doesn't matter how old a person is; survival is stil ultimately prime.
I still cannot believe that my life has gone on past me, without stopping to really let me reflect and now I'm 30!
Arghhhhhhh...

I did not make resolutions for this year.
Feels kinda disappointed that they don't always materialize.
Partially is my fault eh, never putting in effort to realise them.
How difficult it is to be happy? I could never understand why year after year, I had this on tops of my resolution list..
Thus from now on, I wouldn't care about resolutions.
I have goals and wishes. And it's up to me to do more to realize them....

Perhaps I shall say more as the year unravels...