Tuesday rain

Fairly obvious for my blog title.
It's raining heavily, super duper-ly. 
However I have yet to see the (raining) cats and dogs.
Where could they be?
Been entertaining myself with wedding blogs and interior design blogs.
Just gonna share something cute with all of you...


Watch this http://www.bridesmaidsguide.com/

The Princess Chair

By now, most people would know I'm in the midst of finalizing my house design and after that, renovation. I can't wait to see the final draft of designs. They are actually done by my L's sister which I do appreciate her efforts in helping out. I'm too cheap-skate to engage an interior designer. 

Along the way, there had been too many disagreements between me and L but we had to compromise. I had to compromise, I guess. It's always bad when Ms. Dreamily Impractical met and fell in love with Mr. No Nonsense Practical. Yucks. Gone were my dreams of doing the house like a mini princess-like castle style with color-coordinated furniture. Sigh...

In the meanwhile, I am researching and exploring around for a personal chair.  Frankly speaking I find sofas boring. I love the idea of huge beanbags, mismatched chairs in all sorts huddled around, begging for guests to sit on them. But L wouldn't hear of it. He finds that "weird". He nearly raised his voice, declaring guests would have a proper seat to place their butts on. I raised my voice, declaring beanbags and chairs are improper and not weird. I don't see them as sluttish nor promiscuous nor abnormal. Anyway he won the debate (and many more). L did say I could have a chair of my own, in no way part of the sofa. 

And I found my chair! But it's kinda way over my budget. (USD2,498)

Is there anywhere I could find something similiar? Perhaps in a different color as well? I'm more keen in something along the purple hue.

Chair from Anthropologie

Q & A

I've been so listless recently that I started talking to myself. a lot. It ain't really creepy except I do have arguments with myself. Ha!

Have I been a stranger lately? Decide to test by coming out with this Q & A.

1. What is your favourite color? (BORING!)

None. I love all colors, depending on what / where they are found. I guess my mood plays a part in dictating what I like or do not like. Eg, I love red roses but not red lipstick. I'm inclined towards bright cheery orange walls but not orange plates. Right now as I type this, I'm still loving lavender, lilac, yellow, grey, peach and black very much.

2. Do you take junk food?

Absolutely yes!!!! I love Macdonald's cheeseburgers, Carl's Junior fries, fried chicken, pizza etc. I must have fast food at least once a month or else I would keep thinking I'm deprived. I used to crave for salted chips, pretzels but somehow that craving changed to a sweet tooth instead. I like cakes, macarons, ice-cream, candies more now.

3. Do you excerise?

Ewwwww, no! I hate perspiring, especially in Singpore's humid weather. Yucks!!! (And I'm lazy as well) Next!

4. So do you admit you are fat?

Do I admit?! What do you think? I'm just a little too short to carry so much weight on my body, that's all.

5. What TV shows do you like?

Recently I'm catching up on reality cook shows like Hell's Kitchen, Masterchef (Australian and US versions). I think Ramsay is cute, brilliantly cute. I used to watch Glee but nowadays non. I'm a fan of CSI as well.

6. Are you an Apple fan?

Yes! I like apple cider, apple crumble pies, apple crisps blah blah. Ohhh you mean the iphone har? I like the other fruit better, you know, the berry one. :P

However I don't mind if you are giving me the Iphone as a present.

7. What gets you down?

Nothing and everything. Generally I'm quite bubbly and really good in telling lame jokes. (cue: laughter) However I do have a paranoid side as well. I could be edgy, jumpy at times, worrying over non existent problems. I get on people's nerves with my 2 sided personality. *hahaha*

8. What is your favourite quote?

"We are all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars" by Oscar Wilde

I always remind myself to be that "some of us".

9. If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do?

Rob a bank, go backstage at the Victoria Secret fashion show, start a food fight at one of the atas restaurants here, fly a plane with one of the pilots here (he flies, I just stand around in the cockpit)... There's many things I want to do IF I am really invisible. Could I be invisible for like 2 weeks?

10. Are you crazy in concocting this Q & A?

Nah, not even half drunk yet. Hahahahah

Mauve Rose

Had a dream last night in which I woke up crying and had to restrain myself from calling Lawrence.

I could still remember my dream vividly and for the whole of today, I am truly disturbed.

In the dream, I had cancer. Was undergoing chemotherapy which the doctor had told me gently it was pointless. The doctor was kind, grandfather-like and when he spoke to me in his hushed gentle tones, I remembered my tears had blurred out his face. Only the sun's rays that were penetrating into my room were on my face. The doctor seemed to be talking, I could see his mouth moving but the sun were making me unable to open my eyes any longer. Strangely I couldn't hear what the doctor was trying to tell me. It seemed that the sun was a disturbance and I just walked out of the room.

I was in a long hallway, the kind where it was dark and there was a spiral staircase at the end. I was walking towards the staircase and my mind was blank. I was just focusing on going towards the staircase. I found myself outside, out of the house. The streets were quiet, and I started to cry. There were blue roses at my feet, growing out of nowhere and I started blabbering to the roses that I had cancer. I was all alone and talking to the roses. I felt pathetic and asked the roses, "why me?" There was no answer.... It was at that point I woke up, my pillow wet from the tears.

It's still CNY, why am I dreaming of unauspicious stuff? Of all illness, why cancer?!

I really need to clear my mind...

Will it end?

2012. Doesn't seem like a good year.

My father seemed to be getting sicker. Admitted to A&E recently.

Concerned about his health. Much as he is in pain, he also didn't want anyone of us to worry. And that's worrying. Coz I really do not know how he is feeling. Could only pray for a clearer diagnosis from the cardiologist on coming Monday.

My work is not going smoothly. In fact it's terrible. Feels like I'm struck in a endless pit. Everyday I'm numb to the work handled to me. Seem like the world outside is going in a flash, with technotronic colors whilst I'm stuck behind my desk, panicky.

Don't ask me why but this feeling of uncertainty, unsettlement has been with me ever since I took up the new job. Did I came out of the fire and jumped into another hell hole too soon? Everyone was telling me the company is good, with great monetary benefits. Of coz I have yet to see any monetary gains from my side. All I remember was when I wanted to go off urgently to attend to my dad who was in great distress at home, I was questioned "Why?"

I have no answer and stared blankly at my superior, trying to blink away tears that had gathered at the edges of my eyes. I was being too emotional. Images from 4years ago filled my mind, of how much pain he was when he had his first heart-bypass, implications that followed after his operations, the time and effort to nurse him back to health. We were always treading around my dad, attentive and scared. When my mum called me this morning and said,"he's in great pain, " the images, memories came gushing into my mind, no matter how much I wanted to block them.

I seemed like a idiot, tearing like a fool when all my superior was asking me "why". I had no answer, I nearly choked on the lump that was forming steadily in my throat. In the end, he said, "just go"

Much as I was grateful towards him, I don't deny I sensed a bit of unwillingness and coldness in his tone. Perhaps that is him and how he communicated with me.

Was thinking hard for the past few days, I might make a decision real soon. I do not want to sacrifice my family for monetary benefits. For all the OT, I'm required to clock in, I started to drift a bit further from my personal life. I have to plan for my own family and I do not think I have the energy to push as much sales as possible. I don't even have the drive to entertain people now.

I want to bake and cook for my partner, accompany my parents to overseas trips, become more homely and spend time with my loved ones. Or have I become boring instead? All I could think of nowadays was accompanying my dad to doctor appointments and making sure I'm on track for the development of my new house.

Perhaps I'm indeed boring to begin with. Perhaps I'm tired with telling the world I still can cheong but all I wanna do is chill in my room...

Yeah I think that's what I wanna do now....