Diana

Black is to conceal her clusmy frame
Yet black couldn't hide her beauty
Huge and hideous to some
As plastic as she is
Yet I look beyond her superificality
I see rainbows

She is simple
She is kind
She gives me that surreality
She makes me drunk
She brings me to a world I didn't know
She makes me see thru her eyes
I get wild
I get lost
I never feel this way before

Exhilaration and anticipation
Suppressing my joy
And expressing my fears
I was so scared that I might lose her
She is different from others
She has a life and a mind of her own
Which is drawing me very near...

She is ...
She is ...
She is Diana+...

Yeaps my new toy.....

Do you feel?

Blindness in the eyes
A longing in the soul
Cold front with a warm beating heart
Stripped bare, vulnerability exposed.
Exploited
Naked and brash
Feelings deceived

Stop breathing, be silent
Stop crying, start all over again.

Polished lies
Wanton needs
Gently the devil strikes
Toying with basic emotions
Killing dreams
No regrets
Just blown away by the wind

Stop weeping, earth is flooding
Stop living, let me breathe

Crackling thunderstorms
Winter in June
Freezing cold frosted the windows
Subzero buried the (foot)prints
No warmth, only all white and icy snow

Stop smiling, it's over
Stop thinking..
You started it first...

Whimsical mumblings

A friend once told me that January is her least favourite month of all.
To her, January brings about uncertainty.
She never knows what is gonna happen in the rest of the months that are to come.
I find that interesting..
I had never thought of January in that way.

I like January.
That's when Christmas is over and New Year hits in the face when you are still hung over.
That's when after all the western festivals are over, there is gonna be a major Chinese traditional one coming up. (bring on the Lunar New Year, man!)
That's when I knew I had overindulged on turkey, puddings, wine and can't find a perfect outfit for the New Year gatherings.
That's when I have this expectations that I will end up looking dowdy.

I like January.
That's when winter is the coldest (not here in humid Singapore anyway) and it's comfty snuggling up to a loved one with hot chocolate.
That's when I start to look forward to spring and the blooming of flowers.
That''s when I start working myself up into a frenzy thinking of Valentine Day to come.
That's when I start to count down the months there is left over in the year.

I like January.
That's when I start scribbling important dates on my calendar.
That's when I get a new diary and colored pens.
That's when I start scouting around for the perfect birthday gift for myself.
That's when I always fall in love with the new beginnings...

I like January
That's when I know it is the door to the year.
That's when I decide to make the most of the year.
That's when I tell myself to stay strong and live on
That's when I know I will have a whole lot time to complete whatever I did not, in January.

Dec 25 2007

I kinda like angels
kinda believe that they do exist
Kinda know that they are playing the hide-n-seek game
and that I am just another player in it too.

I kinda think angels exist for no reason
They are just there there. Period
I kinda feel that at times angels can be pretty wicked
Playing jokes on me

He was an angel
In a different form
He has no wings and no halo
But he was there when I needed someone most

I believe he came into my life just to help me see things through
And now I finally sorted out my thoughts, he walked away
Never to be seen again
He had offered his help in ways he could and
I grabbed at his offer greedily.

Now we had said goodbye
It hurts more than the parting itself.
I didn't see what he had done for me before
I was angry at his ways

And today I realised that he was just being an angel.
He had walked quietly into my life and knocked on my heart, that's all.
I opened the door, not him.
He had chose to walk quietly away because it was meant to be.

I let it go...
The angel has flown
He's on his way to save another person
Whom I believe deserves him more than me...

I realized that I always go around in circles.
I walk and I trip
I make repeative mistakes
With each fall, I treasure the lesson I learned.
yet I always forget.
And the cycle goes on.

I barged forcefully into walls
I cried.
I pick myself up after falls
Gritting my teeth, telling myself to go on.
I was relentless
I was headstrong and in all,
I had caused myself too much misery

He said I was too complicated
Too much of a vibrancy.
I had retorted "why not?!"
I'm living now; I dunno where I will be tomorrow.
I have this passion which might just die anytime
And tomorrow takes too long to arrive

He said I was different.
Different from who? I had retorted again.
"From norm" was his answer
And I asked him am I abnormal?!
Define norm pleaseeee
He just smiled.

He has a pretty smile and playful eyes.
He is tall and gentle.
He said I gotten this sad look in my eyes...
And I told him that he's being contradictive...

For once I had wanted to see the world through his eyes
For once I thought I could..
He merely said we are too different...
I let it go...
He could easily break my heart
He could easily make me fall
He had done all that within considering my all
I let it go...

Feelings

I gotta be strong. Forceful gales that come, exposure waves that hit me in the face, I have to be strong..
Times when I cry silently at night, when I cuddle into a ball, nobody was there and nobody will ever be. I have to be strong.
I'm lonely, a heavy cross I bear myself. Yet I will be strong..
Life's trials, a tiny cornerstone in my path, developing the character along the way.
Sufferings and pain hurt more than deep gnashes on skin.
I cry alone.
If I said, this journey of pain will make me stronger, what did I lose?
Sanity?! Faith?! My self?!
I want to be strong, desire to be so..
I wish to leave those memories behind, throw away all those pain
Forgo the old life..
I see the rainbow but I don't apprehend.
Nature's making for whom to see?
I stop and rest every so often, I'm not that strong..
I forget (Him) but I want to remember
I hope to be strong..
Winter in June, how cold the heart freezes
With no emotions shown yet weeping alone
Is that strong?
Journey is oh so bleak, so desolute.
Can I walk alone?!
Such a fearful word that makes me go on..
I can only strive to be strong
I'm only alone, myself..
Is that folly strong?...

What are you IN2?

Creamy mushroom soups, juicy steaks

Making list of lists.

Monogramy.

No cruelty to animals,

Purple roses and white lilies,

Leaving a fragrant mist.

Soul searching,

Swimming dolphins and penguins.

Soulful James Blunt

Sleeping in satin sheets with the air con full blast

Google Earth where nobody is invisible

Rainbows and pink shirts on my man

Says it all with stylish cuffs.

Black patent heels that makes one go "Oooohhh"

Irrational when being in love,

Poetry unapprehendable.

Mobile straps with dangling accessories

U2, polar bears facing possible extinction

Making pledges to save those polar bears

Blogger, teddy bears in waist coats

Taking pictures with my N70

Yet N95 seems more classy

Ginger tea, Sudoku puzzles

Blading on Sunday afternoons

Listening to Power 98 and its lovely DJs

Rainy nights, humid rains

Sunshine dolls that do not work

Progressive house and techno that makes me smoke

Gunmetal Mini Cooper cruising on the highway

Pandas and poor lonely Inuka

Fresh crisp scent on my man with a splash of dry witty humour

Frozen margaritas taken too many makes me giddy

Cashmere shawls, foot massages

Long soaks in scented baths

Pampering for the exhausted soul

Caviar, Japanese language, Roman culture

A touch of cosmopolitian style

Anna Sui's range of pretty make up packaging

MSN Live Spaces, lost in galaxy

Vending machines that makes me an addict

Autumn sun, icy slurpees and sushi

Going to movies on a quiet Monday morning

Staying indoors with my pets

Painted nails, blood red lipstick

Chill outs at New Asian Bar

Apple Ipod cool like Coke adverts

"Bettylicious Babe"

Lalang fields, lasagne and lavender.

I'm in2 I am who I am...

My 2 cents worth....

Singapore emphasizing on an elitist' society? (Where do you stand?!)
Cases of dengue fever up? (Didn't somebody just do the cleaning up?!)
People have to reminded by a campaign to say "Please" and "Thank you" more often?! (And please, if you stepped on my foot, its polite manners to say "Sorry" instead of glaring at me.)
There's gonna be a package to offset the up and rising Goods and Service Tax? (7% is a lot, man..))
Locals try their best to skip shopping on certain days when one gotta pay for the plastic carrier bags the retailers give? (Do they save alot on that?!)
F1 is a big deal coz the path marked out, has been tried out by the Bengs and Sengs in their loud colorful spray-painted cars, not to mention the ear shattering music bursting out from their speakers. (a ala Tokyo Drift wannabes)
Cases of drink driving accidents up? (If you drink, don't drive..)
And drink driving and hit and run after that... (if you drive, don't be caught by anyone especially ...)
And if you are a prominant figure in public, (aka we see your face on TV) it's best to accept fate and hope your case will be like Paris Hilton, "slugging" out in a comfortable cell with all entertainment provided.
Residents fighting over en bloc sales? (Ho ho ho....)
"Dirrty" Christina Aguilera's coming?! And her tix cost a fishing bomb! (She's not like U2 right?!)
The pastry with a hole is making us queue at Raffles City for hours... (whoever said we are not patient is so wrong, I had seen some locals queued for 3 hours just to buy 2 doughnuts..)
The Arts Festival starts on 25 May, let's have some culture okies?!
Did I mention the Singapore Great Sale has started too?! Let's have some manners not to fight over that last pair of Prada slingbacks okies?!
Singaporeans are the fastest walkers, according to a survey... Mmm, were they doing the survey during lunchtime when all people are rushing to fill stomachs?! Or were there freebies given out round the corner?
Talking about food, it's a norm to use tissue packets to stake your territorial seats before you walk away to order your delicious char kway teow. (And don't pretend you did not see my packet of tissue!)

Whaheyyyyy

Mmmm..... I seemed to lose my way in here.....
Had nearly forgotten I have this blogsite....
Nevermind that, I'm back........
Whaheyyyyyy...

Watz happening around here, man?
Nothing much. No up nor downs...
Juzt a few more diaries posted.....
I guess we, humans are an exciting lot....
We like to talk bout nothinglessness in our lives..
Whahahha...

I wanna believe the outer space is much more exciting than this planet...