Was spring cleaning my room earlier on and realised I did not really have a lot of junk to throw away...
Just a few bridal magazines, some old receipts, some ancient makeup, that's all.
I'm like a hoarder at times, hanging on to almost every and anything that ever crossed my path. But then again, I realised today I really wasn't one at all.. (Well it could also be a case of there's nothing really fancy that I wanna keep)
So it's like 23 days into a new year. A new start, that's what it is...
I still feel like the same old me, still wandering in this vast universe, trying to settle down, trying to find my place.
My job is routine, but I refuse to get stuck in this rut.
I do not have an exciting social life but I'm contented with intimate wine sessions with my close friends and the occassionally club nights.
I'm still trying to face up to reality and take risks sensibly.
Trying to be alone and get happy on my own, which I think I'm doing fine so far. : )
I just wish there wasn't so many complicated ends to clear up after the relationship has ended.. Sigh...
Oh well, sometimes I do feel like I have an expiry date on me...
I'm getting older and hopefully wiser. But sometimes I feel that I'm being judged.
I don't believe in the saying of "I eat more salt than you ever eat more rice"
I just believe that there's still a lot of things for me to learn, be it from my seniors or juniors.
Sometimes I just wanna let loose and do crazy stuff such as eating too many ice cream cones at one go (feels like a teenaged girl) but this is being frowned upon.
I should act my age? How does a 32year old person behave? And who has the right to say how a person behaves?
That day, I was chasing my friend up an escalator just for fun.
It was out of a spontaneous moment and we burst into laughter after our ascent. People were looking at us as if we were a couple of imbeciles.
Well I admit we did look idiotic but it felt good and we don't know why.
On the positive side, I still have the stamina to run and giggle like a shy school girl without really pausing to catch my breath.
Ha.......
Then again, I can't deny I should be worrying about more serious stuff in life, like when I should find the One and settle down? When can I retire comfortably?
When would I be able to cruise around the world with my partner in tow?
My mind comes to a blank when my parents asked me these and trust me, they sure ask numerous times..
I live for now, I really don't want to tie down to a future I can't forseen but I can't possibly tell them that...
At times I feel that me and my parents have this weird love/hate relationship.
I love them and they hate me for being still single at this old age.
Hahahahahah...
1 comment:
i totally agree with you - i am sometimes puzzeled too by how a 29 year-old should act, mainly cos it feels just like a number and except for my appearance and certain aspect of my mentality, i dont feel like i am almost approaching 30.
recently i dont feel that enriched - there aren't arty events to go to or interesting enough being who discuss something else other than work. i'm in odense this weekend and it's been such an exhilarating one i must say, to walk around and look at a different kind of architecture, to wander in museums and browse at bookshops.
miss ya loads too and miss our chill-out-in-town sessions. take care, gal :*
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