I could still remember my dream vividly and for the whole of today, I am truly disturbed.
In the dream, I had cancer. Was undergoing chemotherapy which the doctor had told me gently it was pointless. The doctor was kind, grandfather-like and when he spoke to me in his hushed gentle tones, I remembered my tears had blurred out his face. Only the sun's rays that were penetrating into my room were on my face. The doctor seemed to be talking, I could see his mouth moving but the sun were making me unable to open my eyes any longer. Strangely I couldn't hear what the doctor was trying to tell me. It seemed that the sun was a disturbance and I just walked out of the room.
I was in a long hallway, the kind where it was dark and there was a spiral staircase at the end. I was walking towards the staircase and my mind was blank. I was just focusing on going towards the staircase. I found myself outside, out of the house. The streets were quiet, and I started to cry. There were blue roses at my feet, growing out of nowhere and I started blabbering to the roses that I had cancer. I was all alone and talking to the roses. I felt pathetic and asked the roses, "why me?" There was no answer.... It was at that point I woke up, my pillow wet from the tears.
It's still CNY, why am I dreaming of unauspicious stuff? Of all illness, why cancer?!
I really need to clear my mind...
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